Being an effective communicator is complicated even when we interact with others face-to-face, let alone when we try to communicate through an array of posts, texts, emails, and virtual meetings. With this in mind, I reflected upon the most relevant principles of effective communication, and how these apply to our digital media. This article gives my point of view on how communication can be improved when using digital means both in private and public channels.
First of all, is important to mention that the communication principles that I explore in this article can be expressed differently in other sources, but I believe that the general concepts will still hold regardless. And second, I want to clarify that although I consider my knowledge valid, and I am basing this article on published research, I am by no means an international authority on this topic, so I encourage any reader to explore other articles and publications and share their points of views.
The Principles of Effective Communication
There are eight characteristics of communication that make it effective. Communicators are considered proficient when their messages are naturally: Congruent, Descriptive, Topic-focused, Validating, Specific, Owned, Conjunctive, and Situationally appropriate. All these characteristics allow communicators to build trust and understanding with their interlocutors and therefore increase the impact of their message.
When analyzing these concepts for digital communications, we must tweak our understanding of some elements. For starters, we have to understand that the lack of physical presence affects the type of non-verbal communication; instead of having facial and body expressions, voice tone, or hand gestures, we have the selected communication channel, writing style, selected vocabulary, and overall digital presence. As a second adjustment, we of course need to understand that the delay between message exchanges is increased, but that the magnitude of the delay is generally accepted depending on the communication channel. Finally, as digital channels give people the chance to reflect upon their answers, the standards for effective communication are raised.
Congruence
In general, this refers to "saying what you are thinking". When the message says one thing, but it is obvious, through non-verbal communication, that the communicator does not believe it, trust is broken. This usually leads to people doubting the message, and not being receptive to it.
As mentioned before, the concept of "non-verbal" communication changes for digital channels, so the lack of congruence can manifest in mismatches between the message and the selected digital channel (e.g. sending critical feedback through Facebook messenger), or earlier publications (e.g. encouraging work-life balance while having publications about working 80 hours a week). Congruence will also be evaluated differently depending on the type of digital message:
Descriptiveness
Communication is more effective when it describes objectively the events or behaviors, and usually less effective when it is subjectively judgmental. When people drift towards emitting judgments on their messages, the people receiving the message can often become defensive which reduces their receptiveness.
When using digital communication means, it is easier to lose objective language and opt to give our opinions about the topics at hand. This is especially true when we are trying to remain congruent with our beliefs and opinions. However, as mentioned before, this can lead to conflict and defensiveness which is why it is better to remain descriptive. The three steps to maintain a congruent, and successful digital conversation are: stick to descriptive accounts of events and their consequences, provide a point of agreement, and be open to alternatives on that.
Topic Focus
Another key component in conversations that do not aggravate the listener, is to focus on the topic that is being discussed and not on the people discussing it. One of the most common fallacies in communication is the well-known "ad-hominem" in which people shift the conversation towards the person emitting an opinion and not the idea that was brought up; this of course is not conducive to effective communication. On the other hand, when people focus their conversations on specific events, situations, actions, etc. the conversation tends to flow better, and the disagreements become more fruitful as a way to reach a better understanding.
An important comment on this element is that when the topic of conversation is the person in question, the previous element "descriptiveness" gains a lot more importance. The communicator should focus on describing actions and consequences, and not on passing judgment.
In digital communications, this element is even more important as written messages do not convey tone, and they stay on the record. While it is normal to stay on topic during frictionless conversations, digital conversations tend to devolve fast when highly contested topics are discussed. This shows up in different ways depending on the channel:
Validation
People are more likely to communicate when they feel like their opinion will be considered and valued. This is the reason why people are often more comfortable talking about difficult topics with their friends than in a public setting. Providing validation during conversations refers to helping people feel recognized, understood, and like their comments are appreciated.
Validating does not mean agreeing with the person's opinion, but to reinforce the fact that the opinion is welcomed and that it contributes to the conversation. Validating communication has four attributes which are: 1) the conversation must be egalitarian (i.e. between equals at least regarding the topic at hand), 2) all parties must be flexible, 3) everybody needs to have a chance to participate, and 4) it should focus on agreements. Depending on the mean, validation can be achieved in different ways:
Specificity
This one is logically easy, but more difficult in practice. Good communication stays focused on identifiable events, situations, actions, etc., and avoids "global statements" such as generalization, extremes, and ultimatums. In most cases, not being specific makes it more difficult to reach common ground, and easier to drift away from the original topic.
This element is often lacking in both face-to-face and digital communications, as shifting the focus from specific to global tends to be useful when trying to dismantle arguments (e.g. "This burger tastes amazing" - "No way, all burgers are really fatty which makes them horrible"). We must remember, that even when disagreeing, the purpose of effective communication is to understand each other better, build trust, and improve relationships; all this is lost if we are just trying to win an argument.
Ownership
The things we communicate always carry more weight when we own them. This means, in a sense, that we take responsibility for what was expressed. Owning what you communicate is positive for communication because it implicitly lets the receiver know that you are invested in the topic, and confident in your point of view. Additionally, owning what you say has been linked by Glasser, W. (Reality therapy in action, 2000) to self-confidence which in turn leads to trusting interpersonal relationships.
Although ownership over what we say would seem to be a natural part of communication, many conversations include one or several of these phrases: “Someone said”, “I heard it somewhere”, “I read an article somewhere”, etc. (trustworthy sources are good as a backup but should not be used to shift ownership away). One of the main causes of this is the fear of being wrong and/or a closed mindset to changing our views.
This element of communication plays out similarly whether our message is public or private, as failing to take ownership will lead to a lack of trust from the receiver(s) of the message. This will especially be compounded if there is a history of shifting responsibility away.
Conjunctiveness & Situationality
The last two principles are being described together, as they are intrinsically related. Conjunctiveness means that every response must be connected to the previous message, therefore, maintaining fluidity, while Situationality refers to being aware of the situation through active reception of the message. These two principles are closely linked because we cannot maintain a conjunctive conversation without actively paying attention to what is being said by our interlocutor.
It is challenging to remain true to these principles in digital communication because, by its very nature, it has elements that create a disconnect between the people involved, such as pauses in communication and disparity in the opportunity to comment. Another reason this is challenging is that understanding written messages requires more focus and is more subject to interpretation. The additional focus is required because reading is usually a slow way of receiving information (most people read much slower than they can listen) which leads to skimming through texts, and digital means often come with added distractions such as notifications, music, and other types of multi-tasking. The need for additional interpretation comes mainly from the lack of opportunity for immediate feedback as we often cannot ask clarifying questions right away.
Although it can be argued that it is not perfect, my suggestion is to keep “Stack Overflow” in mind. In this portal, moderators make sure that each conversation stays on topic urging people with different topics to open a new, separate thread, and they close the topics as soon as the topic at hand has been addressed. Similarly, when communicating through digital means, we should first make clear what the topic and objective at hand are, moderate ourselves to keep messages on-topic, and finally, explicitly close or table the topic.
Conclusion
My experience with digital communication has made it clear that we are not that good with it. This is not surprising as studies have shown that we are not that good at communicating in person either. Keeping the eight principles in mind when communicating digitally, or in person, will improve the effectiveness of your messages, and the way your communication skills are perceived. However, while actively thinking about all the principles would be most beneficial, communication can immediately be improved if we just remember what its goal is: To create common ground, build an understanding, and improve our interpersonal relationships.
Based On: Whetten, D., Cameron, K. (2011). Developing Management Skills. (8th ed.) ISBN: 978-0-13-612100-8.
