Planning a Wedding For Dummies Cheat Sheet - dummies (2024)

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By: Sarah Barker and

Updated: 05-13-2022

From The Book: Planning a Wedding For Dummies

Congratulations — you’re engaged and that should be celebrated! Now it’s time to make it official and plan your perfect wedding day. It’s all about perspective. The big picture in planning a wedding is that at the end of the day, you will be married. That’s what’s most important. Along your journey, there will be bumps in the road. But wedding planning doesn’t have to be stressful. Following the simple steps outlined in this Cheat Sheet will ensure a perfect wedding day.

Crafting a workable budget

If doesn’t matter who you are; everyone has a budget. Crafting a workable budget is a vital part in wedding planning. It is the compass that will guide you in multiple decisions along the way so you don’t outspend your means.

Everything in weddings is pretty. It’s like walking into a car dealership where everything comes with a big, beautiful bow and a pristine interior.

If you lose your focus on the budget, you will buy things you don’t need because they’re so alluring. Follow these steps to stay on track with your budget.

  • Pick your must-have items. Those are the items that you can’t live without. Do you want an amazing venue? Is a five-star meal a must have? Do you want an amazing photographer? Come up with your top five items and focus your budget on those pieces.
  • Determine who’s paying. Make sure you know how much you have available to spend so you can maximize your budget. Resource all your connections to determine you max budget.
  • Determine what your own budget includes. Does it include your dress, hair, makeup, or honeymoon? Does it only cover the reception elements, such as food, entertainment, bar, photo, flowers, and decor? Make a list of the items that need to fit within your budget.
  • Don’t forget about service fees. Service fees can add up quickly. Make sure you understand all the fees associated with a vendor’s services so you can maximize your budget. For example, if you think the food will be $25 per person, after you add the service fees, the actual cost is $38 per person.
  • Budget for tips and gratuities. Make sure you include tips and gratuities in your budget. If you have a $10,000 budget and plan to tip your vendors 20 percent, that makes your overall budget $12,000.

Determining your budget will help you prepare your guest list, because you will pay for every guest you invite. With the average total cost per guest at $250, knowing your budget will help you formulate your guest list.

Remember to stick with your budget no matter how big or how small. Everyone has one and it is important to figure out what yours will be for a successful event.

Picking your dream team

Your wedding day is only as good as the team you put in place. Picking your dream team is a vital part of wedding planning. Making sure that you have the people in place to do the job you have hired them to do will eliminate the stress of planning a big event. You need to be able to trust them with your plan.

Building relationships with wedding planning team will allow you to let go when you need to so they can execute your plan. Follow these steps to ensure you select the dream team you deserve.

  • Quality: Make sure you hire quality vendors for your big day. You do pay for what you get, and hiring vendors that don’t offer quality service will leave you wishing you had a different team.
  • Get referrals: If someone you know has gotten married, ask them who they had on their team. They will tell you the good, bad, and ugly. Additionally, when you’re considering a particular vendor, always research them online. Don’t believe everything you read, but this will help you pick a team that offers quality service.
  • Consider a wedding planner: You may be planning your own wedding, and that is why you’re reading this book. If you aren’t working with a wedding planner, at the very least hire a wedding coordinator. It will be worth the money so that you can relax and enjoy your day.
  • Build relationships: Make sure you get to know your team for each category: florist, decorator, rentals, photo, video, catering, venue, bar and bartending, baker, entertainment, and transportation. If you establish relationships with your team, you will be able to let go and know they’ll make the best choice for you on your wedding day if something were to go wrong. If they don’t know you, they can’t make good decisions on your behalf. This will also help you let go, knowing they’ll take care of what needs to be done on your wedding day.

Selecting your guest list

Selecting your guest list will drive your budget. The guests at your wedding are a variable cost. This means the cost of your food, flowers, bar, rentals, and cake will go up or down based on the final number of guests at your wedding.

It is important to follow these steps when formulating your guest list.

  1. Determine your size: micro, medium, or large wedding.
  2. Determine who is invited: your friends, your family, your fiancé’s friends, and your fiancé’s family.
  3. Organize your guest list so that you can keep track of who is coming to your wedding.
  4. Determine if you are allowing your guests to bring a guest.
  5. Keep track of the RSVPs so that you aren’t paying for one more guest than you need do.

If you could hand your guests $250 cash and ask them to come to your wedding, they should make the cut. There will be difficult choices to make on who you are inviting, so work with your fiancé to determine the most important people in your life who need to be with you on your most important day.

Creating your ceremony and reception

The ceremony and reception elements are only yours. You may have attended weddings in the past, but no two weddings are alike. It’s important to customize your wedding day because all the elements work together as a reflection of your relationship.

Following, are some tips for ensuring a perfect ceremony and reception for your big day.

  • Book the perfect ceremony and reception venue to fit your specific needs: indoor, outdoor, all-inclusive, venue only.
  • Book an officiant who will customize your ceremony type to your specific needs.
  • Make sure to check with the county clerk’s office so you know the rules and regulations for obtaining a marriage license.
  • Choose your ceremony type (for example, will you have a religious ceremony or not?) and design a ceremony that is meaningful to you.
  • Set the mood with music for your prelude, processional, special music, recessional, and postlude.
  • Create a detailed timeline of events for your reception, including items such as co*cktail hour, bridal party introductions, welcome before dinner, dinner service, cake cutting, toasts, special dances, bouquet toss, garter toss, and formal exit.
  • Pick your food and beverages based on items you enjoy.

Remember to make your ceremony and reception memorable by including as many personalized touches as possible. For example, fill out a questionnaire sharing how you met or when you knew you were in love and have your officiant share that insider information at your ceremony.

You could also have a close relative share your love story with your guests. All your favorite people will gather to witness your marriage and celebrate at the reception.

Create, distribute, rehearse, and implement your plan

An important part of a successful wedding weekend is the creation, distribution, rehearsal, and implementation of your plan. Just as in marriage, communication is key to any successful event. If you don’t communicate, you won’t have a successful wedding day — it’s a simple as that. It’s also important to rehearse the plan with your bridal party. Finally, you get to watch the plan in action.

Following these steps to ensure a perfect wedding day:

  • Pick a good team of vendors who can implement your plan and vision. Having a team you trust will enable you to relax and enjoy your wedding day, knowing that they’re taking care of the details.
  • Create your detailed schedule of events to include your bridal party names, vendor names and contact information, the timeline of the day, flowers and decor, and final guest list.
  • Distribute your detailed schedule of events to your vendor team. Make sure they know who the contact is on the day of the event in case they have any questions.
  • Rehearse with your bridal party to make sure they know how they will enter and exit the ceremony. They will also need to know the activities that are scheduled for the wedding day, including when and where they’ll be getting ready, the ceremony elements, and the reception elements.

Knowing your state's marriage license rules

Don’t forget to obtain your marriage license before your ceremony! The following table includes info on what form of identification you need, whether you must be a resident, how old you need to be, when the license expires, if you need a blood test, if there is a waiting period, and whether you need a witness, and if so, how many.

It’s always a good idea to reach out to the state or county where you’re getting married to confirm the information because rules and regulations do change.

Marriage License Rules by State

StateIDResidency RequiredAgeExpirationBlood TestWaitWitness
ALOne of the following: a valid driver’s license, nondriver’s license, passport, birth certificate, military identification, or school recordNo16 with

parent.

18+ alone

30NoNo0
AKPicture ID or driver’s license is required and a birth certificate to show proof of ageNo18+90No3 days2
AZValid government-issued photo IDNo18+365NoNo2
ARValid government-issued photo IDNo18+60NoNo0
CAValid government-issued photo IDNo18+90NoNo1
COValid government-issued photo ID with birthdate and expirationNo18+35NoNo0
CTValid driver’s license, passport, military ID, or green card, along with Social Security cardNo18+65NoNo0
DEDriver’s license, passport, military ID, US visa, or government IDNo18+30No24 Hours2
DCValid driver’s license, state ID, military ID, passport, or birth certificateNo18+NoneNoNo0
FLValid photo ID (driver’s license, state ID card, passport, or 1-94 card) along with Social Security cardNo18+60No3 days0
GAValid photo IDNo18+NoneNoNo0
HIValid ID and proof of ageNo15 with parent.

18+ alone

30NoNo0
IDValid form of ID as well as an original birth certificate or certified copyNo18+NoneNoNo0
ILValid, up-to-date, photo IDNo18+60No24 Hours0
INCurrent and valid driver’s license, state-issued ID, passport, or birth certificateNo18+60NoNo0
IAValid photo IDNo18+NoneNo3 Days1
KSPhoto ID and Social Security cardNo18+180No3 Days2
KYPhoto ID, original birth certificate, and Social Security cardNo18+30NoNo2
LAValid photo IDNo18+30No72 Hours2
MEValid photo IDNo18+90NoNo2
MDValid form of photo ID and Social Security cardsNo15 w/ parent.

18+ alone

180No48 Hours0
MAValid form of photo ID and Social Security cardsNo18+60No3 Days0
MIValid photo ID with current address, birth certificate or valid passport, and Social Security numbersMust file in the county18+33No3 Days2
MNValid form of photo IDNo18+180NoNo2
MSValid form of photo IDNo21+0NoNo0
MOValid form of photo ID and proof of ageNo19+30NoNo0
MTValid form of photo ID and proof of ageMust file in the county18+180YesNo0
NEValid form of photo ID and proof of ageNo19+365NoNo2
NVValid form of photo IDNo18+365NoNo0
NHValid form of photo ID and proof of ageNo16+90NoNo0
NJValid form of photo ID and Social Security cardNo18+180No72 Hours1
NMValid form of photo IDNo18+90NoNo0
NYValid form of photo IDNo18+60No24 Hours1
NCValid form of photo ID and Social Security cards or tax formsNo18+60NoNo2
NDValid form of photo IDNo18+30NoNo2
OHValid form of photo ID and Social Security cardsMust file in the county18+60NoNo0
OKValid form of photo IDNo18+10NoNo2
ORValid form of photo IDNo18+60No3 Days2
PAValid form of photo ID and Social Security cardsNo18+60No3 Days0
RIValid form of photo ID and birth certificateMust file in the city18+90NoNo2
SCValid form of photo ID and Social Security cardsNo18+NoneNo24 Hours0
SDValid form of photo IDNo18+20NoNo0
TNValid photo ID or certified copy of birth certificate, Social Security numbers, and parents’ namesNo18+30NoNo0
TXValid form of photo IDNo18+90No72 Hours0
UTValid form of photo ID and Social Security cardsNo18+30NoNo2
VTValid form of photo IDMust file in the city18+60NoNo0
VAValid form of photo IDNo18+60NoNo0
WAValid form of photo ID with birthdateNo18+60No3 Days2
WVValid form of photo ID or certified copy of birth certificate, Social Security numbers, and parents’ namesMust file in the city18+60NoNo0
WIValid form of photo IDMust file in the city18+30No5 Days2
WYValid form of photo IDNo18+365NoNo2

About This Article

This article is from the book:

  • Planning a Wedding For Dummies ,

About the book author:

Sarah Barker is a wedding and event planner, florist, venue owner, venue manager, and educator in the events industry. Sarah has planned and executed more than 600 weddings and proposals, made more than 4,000 bouquets, 20,000 arrangements, and served more than 500,000 guests across the United States. Her work has been featured in Buzz Feed, PopSugar, MSN Lifestyle, The Huffington Post, Every Last Detail, Wedding Chicks, Desiree Hartsock, Southern Weddings, Green Wedding Shoes and Borrowed and Blue. She has also won several industry awards, including Best Planner and Florist in Nashville, and an Industry Leader for Smart Meeting Magazine.

This article can be found in the category:

  • Weddings ,
  • Budget Weddings For Dummies Cheat Sheet
  • Wedding Etiquette For Dummies Cheat Sheet
  • Wedding Planning For Dummies Cheat Sheet
  • Choosing Bouquets and Boutonnieres for Your Wedding
  • Displaying and Cutting Your Wedding Cake
  • View All Articles From Category
Planning a Wedding For Dummies Cheat Sheet  - dummies (2024)

FAQs

How do you plan a simple wedding step by step? ›

How to Start Planning a Wedding: The First 10 Steps
  1. Dream – get the vision for your big day.
  2. Determine what's most important to you.
  3. Set a wedding budget.
  4. Form your wedding party.
  5. Create your guest list.
  6. Determine dates.
  7. Start looking for your dream venue.
  8. Begin looking into the vendors you want for your wedding day.
Apr 16, 2020

What are the basics of wedding planning? ›

  • Start Thinking Big Picture. ...
  • Set a Wedding Budget. ...
  • Establish Your Priorities and Expectations as a Couple. ...
  • Find Your Wedding Vision. ...
  • Consider a Wedding Planner or Coordinator. ...
  • Set Your Date and Book a Venue. ...
  • Hire Priority Wedding Vendors. ...
  • Organize All Wedding Materials.
Jan 20, 2023

What is the first thing to decide when planning a wedding? ›

1. Set a Wedding Budget. It's critical that setting your budget be the first step in planning your wedding. It might not be the most fun part of the process, but it's a task that really needs to be completed first because it sets the rest of your wedding planning process into motion.

How do you plan a wedding start and end? ›

How to Plan a Wedding: A Step-by-Step Guide to Wedding Planning
  1. Set a Budget (and Stick to It!) GETTY / PROSTOCK-STUDIO. ...
  2. Discuss Your Priorities. ...
  3. Get Organised. ...
  4. Research Wedding Styles. ...
  5. Choose Your Wedding Style. ...
  6. Make a Wedding Planning Checklist. ...
  7. Set a Date. ...
  8. Make a Wedding Guest List.
Dec 2, 2022

What is a reasonable wedding budget? ›

The average cost of a wedding in 2021 was $28,000 (including the ceremony and reception), according to The Knot's 2021 Real Weddings Study.

What is a typical wedding planning timeline? ›

In general, most couples take over a year to plan their wedding. In fact, according to The Knot Real Weddings Study, the average engagement length is 15 months. So, when you're 13-15 months out from the big day, use this time to research, gather ideas, and create a vision.

Who exits first in a wedding? ›

The bride and groom are the first to exit during the recessional. They are then followed by the flower girl and the ring bearer. The maid of honor and best man will then make their way down the aisle, followed by the remaining bridesmaids and groomsmen. The bride and groom's parents will then exit.

Who walks out first in a wedding? ›

Your officiant is generally the first person to walk toward the altar, signifying the ceremony is about to commence.

When planning a wedding who pays for what? ›

Traditionally, the bride and her family are responsible for paying for all wedding planning expenses, the bride's attire, all floral arrangements, transportation on the wedding day, photo and video fees, travel and lodgings for the officiant if he comes from out of town, lodging for the bridesmaids (if you have offered ...

What are the 3 things a bride needs for her wedding? ›

You may have heard, for example, that brides should wear (or carry) "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" on their wedding day for good luck.

What should be on a wedding spreadsheet? ›

A comprehensive wedding planning spreadsheet should include a wedding planning timeline spreadsheet, wedding registry checklist, wedding budget planner, wedding day schedule, photography shot list, vendor contact list, and guest list.

What is the most expensive part of wedding? ›

The most expensive parts of most weddings are costs associated with the reception venue, including the cost of renting materials, including tables and chairs, and serving food or alcohol.

What are the top 3 costs for a wedding? ›

Wedding Budget Breakdown
  • Venue: 30% Unsurprisingly, the biggest chunk of your wedding budget will go to the biggest investment, which is often the venue. ...
  • Catering: 23% ...
  • Band: 13% ...
  • Wedding Rings: 7% ...
  • Photography: 7% ...
  • Alcohol/Liquor: 7% ...
  • Flowers: 7% ...
  • Videography: 6%
Sep 21, 2022

How much does it cost to feed 100 wedding guests? ›

Most receptions for 100 people cost between $6,000 - $12,000, with $8,000 being the average cost. Here's a general estimate of what you can expect to pay for food, service/staffing, alcohol, and rentals for a wedding of this size.

How involved should parents be in wedding planning? ›

Before booking your venue and setting your date, be sure to run both by your parents. There may be conflicts you weren't aware of (another big family event, a major work commitment) that your parents may bring to your attention.

When should you ask your bridesmaids? ›

Rule Of Thumb

The best rule is to ask your friends and family members to be your bridesmaids anywhere between a year to eight months before your wedding. That will give them enough time to plan the bachelorette party and get their dresses. Any less time may not be enough for them to be able to make the commitment.

What is the correct order to walk down the aisle? ›

From walking down the aisle first to last, the traditional order is: Mother of Bride, Mother of Groom, Grandparents of Bride, Grandparents of Groom, Groom, Officiant, the Wedding Party, Maid of Honor and Best Man, Ring Bearer, Flower Girl and lastly the Bride and her Father.

Which mother walks down the aisle first? ›

The groom's parents precede the bride's mother during the processional. Here's a rundown: After the ushers have seated all of the guests, the grandparents start up the aisle, followed by the groom's parents. Then the bride's mother takes her turn. She is the last to be seated before the bridal party procession begins.

Who toasts first at a wedding? ›

The first toast is customarily made by the best man. It's fine for this to be the only one offered, though other people will probably want to express their happiness for the newlyweds. After the best man, the maid of honor may offer a toast, too. 2.

Who gets the first dance with the bride? ›

If you want to go a more "traditional" route, there is a generally-agreed-upon etiquette when it comes to the ordering of the dances: The bride and groom share the first dance. The father of the bride then dances with the bride. The groom may also dance with the mother of the bride.

Who does the bride's mom walk with? ›

If the mother of the bride is taking part in the wedding processional, she is traditionally escorted by a close male relative like a son or brother or may enter alone. If the parents are divorced, she may be escorted by her partner. In some cases, a groomsman or best man will escort her down the aisle.

Who sits in first row at wedding? ›

The parents of the bride always sit in the first pew or row on the left, facing where the ceremony will be held; the groom's parents sit in the first row on the right.

What should the mother of the groom not do? ›

Here are a few things a mother-of-the-groom shouldn't do.
  • Don't overshadow the bride's mother. ...
  • Don't act (or dress) like a bridesmaid. ...
  • Don't get too critical. ...
  • Don't steal the bride's spotlight with your mother-of-the-groom outfit. ...
  • Don't try to invite extra guests. ...
  • Don't skip the pre-wedding events.
Jul 2, 2019

What does the maid of honor pay for? ›

Typically, the maid of honor pays for smaller-ticket items, like a bachelorette sash or tiara, decorations, and swag for the other party guests. If you, as the bride, don't want to pay for these smaller items, our advice is to give your friends space to take the reins.

How much money should the groom's parents give as a wedding gift? ›

Parents of the bride and groom collectively contribute about $19,000 to the wedding, or about two-thirds of the total cost, according to WeddingWire. The bride's parents give an average $12,000, and the groom's, $7,000. Just 1 in 10 couples pays for the wedding entirely on their own, according to TheKnot.com.

How do you plan a wedding with little money? ›

10 Tips For Planning An Affordable Wedding
  1. Book During the Week. ...
  2. Choose Non-Traditional Venues. ...
  3. Shop for Venues That Include Equipment. ...
  4. Get Flowers That Are in Season. ...
  5. Set Your Wedding Budget Beforehand. ...
  6. Buy at the End of Wedding Season. ...
  7. Use a Friend as an Officiate. ...
  8. Hire a Music Student/Group for Your Music.

How do you do a low key wedding? ›

Tips for Throwing a Low-Key, Relaxed Wedding
  1. Choose a Low Key Venue. ...
  2. Offer an Informal Dress Code. ...
  3. Have a Pre-Ceremony co*cktail Guests Can Bring Into the Ceremony. ...
  4. Soft Seating Helps Guests Get Comfy. ...
  5. Small is the New Big. ...
  6. Summon the Bar Cart. ...
  7. Interactive Activities are Trending. ...
  8. Bring on the Comfort Food.
Jan 27, 2021

What is a reasonable budget for a wedding? ›

The average cost of a wedding in 2021 was $28,000 (including the ceremony and reception), according to The Knot's 2021 Real Weddings Study.

How do you plan a wedding on a budget of $10 000? ›

How to Plan a Wedding for Less Than $10,000
  1. Say yes to a rented dress. Grooms often save by renting tuxedos, but many brides don't realize they can cut costs by renting a wedding dress2. ...
  2. Tie the knot in a free venue. ...
  3. Trim reception food costs. ...
  4. Fine-tine your musical choices. ...
  5. Include free or inexpensive touches.

How do you make a small wedding not boring? ›

You can create a more intimate and personal day. Fewer guests means less stress and a more relaxed atmosphere.
...
Food and Drink Ideas for Small Weddings
  1. Set Up a Food Truck Station. ...
  2. Eschew Traditional Meal Times. ...
  3. Nominate Someone as Chef. ...
  4. Get Creative with co*cktails. ...
  5. Choose a Cake Alternative.
Sep 15, 2020

How many people is considered a small wedding? ›

Small weddings can range in size, but typically include around 20-80 people and are just as special — and potentially a lot less expensive — than a large celebration.

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